In his new book, , Barry quoted an unpublishedpaper by respected sports psychologist, Jeff Bond, that argues thatsome of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorderare "exactly the ones coaches looked for in champions".
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These sadistic scenes are a defining characteristic of the narcissist. As so often with narcissistic behavior, the payoff for your mother is the elicitation of painful emotions. Whether you subject yourself to her degradation or you fight back and provoke punishment from the narcissist, you will experience a sense of entrapment and fear, and those emotions are very satisfying to her. Her pleasure is augmented by the pain she elicits by undermining, insulting and demeaning you and, as the scene winds down, by blaming you for the entire event.
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Although an exaggerated desire to mete out justice is not listed among the defining characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder in DSM-IV, it probably should be. Narcissists erupt with self-righteous indignation whenever they believe others are breaking rules, acting unfairly, or getting more than their fair share of the pie. They have no compunction about breaking the rules themselves, however, because they know they're special and the rules don't apply to them....When narcissists are confronted by people who disparage the legitimacy of their extravagant claims, they tend to react badly. They may plunge into depression -- or become infuriated...Their reaction to criticism is intense.
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According to the American Psychological Association, there are nine characteristics of Narcissism. The Diagnostic and Statistics Manual (DSM) of mental disorders states narcissistic personality disorder exists when five or more of the nine criteria listed below are met:This problem of distinction is compounded by the fact that narcissistic personality disorder as described by James Masterson in his 1981 ground-breaking text The Narcissistic and Borderline Disorders has been all but completely lost in the sea of people proclaiming anyone who simply exhibits selfishness a narcissist. This confusion is important to clear up because clinical narcissism is far more destructive to those surrounding the afflicted one, and it can be helpful to try and spot it in others to avoid getting entangled with them.
In The Narcissistic and Borderline Disorders, Masterson defines the main characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder as “grandiosity, extreme self-involvement and lack of interest in and empathy for others, in spite of the pursuit of others to obtain admiration and approval.” The first two points remind me of many airline travelers I’ve experienced. The last however goes beyond the normal frustrated commuter and stretches into someone whose lack of empathy borders on cruel. Those suffering from narcissistic personality disorder aren’t just full of themselves; their own emotional needs are so deep and unfillable, they can’t afford to offer approval to anyone else. All affirmation must be for them.